HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL

e m P t Y

Tried to write a letter; In ink
I've got a piece of paper; But it's Empty

{/Henry Lamer and The Supposingly End of The World --

Saturday, December 31, 2011 ( 8:51 AM )

Ahhhh... Back to my annual new year dissolution and resolution. =D Hello everyone! How's everything? Hope you had a great year that will pass within a few hours. Is there anything that you want to do this year but you haven't done? If you haven't, better go get it done now! No more time! Go go go!

Very soon, the 1 is going to change into 2. Like the saying goes, A new year, a new beginning. But before going on to what i wanna achieve in the new year, let's take a look at what i have achieved and what i haven't achieved this year. =D

Firstly, let's take a look at my last year's resolution.

1) World peace. Well, it's pretty clear the world isn't anymore peaceful than last year, what with all the political unrest in the middle eastern countries (or is it africa? Lol) On a more personal basis, i feel that i have done my best as a nurse. As a friend, i continued to be friendly to others, dont hold grudges towards anyone as much as i can, spent as much time as i can with my family and wasn't rude towards my teachers. =D 8/10

2) Spend more time with old friends. For the first half of the year, it was pretty much the same as the previous year. Reason being, i still stayed in hall. However, once school ended, the situation improved. I met up with more of my old friends, took the initiative to sms them or contact them. 7/10

3) Be more God fearing. This i definitely did. God has become increasingly important in my life. And especially in the period when my parents went overseas for 2 months, i attended meetings regularly. That really aid my improvement spiritually. =D i am very happy about this. 9/10

4) Prioritize. *sighs* Well, this is hard to evaluate. If this were to be evaluated based on my academic results, i would say it is slightly better? If this were to be evaluated based on the other aspects of my life. I would say so so. Definitely can be better. 5/10

So out of 40, i got a total of 29. Which isn't very good. =( Never mind, there's always room for improvement. And nobody is perfect. =D

Secondly, let us take a look at my ups, or what i have achieved this year. =D

1) Got a girlfriend

What more can i say? I finally met someone who is understanding, cute and so accepting of me that it seems incredible that someone like her can exist. She has her flaws, just now everyone else in the whole wide world. But it doesn't matter. Because no one is perfect in this world, but she is perfect for me. =D

2) Went to Indonesia twice

And for different reasons too! =D First was for my first OCIP trip in my life, to power up serdang! We painted walls, cooked our own meals, got GE together, sang songs, went sightseeing, conducted health screenings, did role plays and have fun together! All in all, it was a really really great trip and i will remember it for a very long time to come! =D

The second time to Indonesia was with my girlfriend and her family for holiday! I had a really wonderful time, seeing the life of my girlfriend in indonesia, and getting to know her family better. Her dogs are really cute. Makes me wanna keep a dog too! =(

3) Dance till no tomorrow

I participated in my first ever dance performance! Ok maybe not first. First MAJOR dance performance! All that rehearsals, all that rushing from hospital to rehearsals, all that late nights was all worth it in the end. It was a night that blew my mind away!!

4) Left Hall

Well as promised, a year of hall stay and that's it. =D It was a very memorable affair, all the friends i made, all the activities i participated, all the stupid things i did, all of it made hall stay a very fun and memorable affair! =D

5) Started year 2 of nursing!

Thankfully, i made it to year 2. Lol. I worked harder and smarter this semester, with the help of my wonderful girlfriend. Got slightly better results. But still failed a module =( Helped conduct a FOC for the juniors as well. But i did participate in less nursing related activities this year though. Hmmm... Oh ya! I helped to ensure a successful Conventus as well! =D awesome stuff! Oh! And i stepped down as class rep! =D

6) Quit facebook

Hahahha, my greatest truimph! In a way it is. Because everyone is on it, but i am not. So that makes me different! =D Lesser distractions socially, and able to locate my true friends more easily. =D

7) Played volleyball

Ok this is kinda noob for an achievement. Hahaha.. The only reason i put this is so as to commemorate my Sheares Hall team, and as well me participating in recre Volleyball. =p Oh, and a successful tint as a TM too!

OK! That's about it i think! Can't think of any more significant events at the moment. It has, once again, been a pretty eventful year. Every year is an eventful year, come to think of it. =D and that's good! That means that there is meaning, there is a purpose in my life. =D

And while i live in this microscopic version of my life, the world out there is getting worse and worse, more violence, more disasters, whether man made or not. *sighs*

Ok! Enough about the depressing stuff. Now, what are my new year resolutions this year? =D

1) World Peace

Need i elaborate more? One can never have enough of it. =D

2) Achieve spiritual goals

I really hope to serve God more. Therefore, i have to work really hard in order to do so. There are certain goals i want to achieve. And i really hope i can do it! =D

3) Lose weight

Yeah, kinda superficial. But i am kinda fat. =( So i will do something about it.

4) Be a better boyfriend

I wanna be a better boyfriend for adeline, and i know i can, and i will. =D

5) Dance

I really miss dancing, and i really really want to do popping again.

6) Do well for studies

Please, let it be this time. =(

Ok then, it's about 1 hour into the new year. therefore....

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!

{/ --

Friday, December 16, 2011 ( 7:25 AM )

I really need to shut my mouth sometimes, or maybe, all the time.

Using Mr Singa's words, "Shit man."

{/ --

Thursday, December 15, 2011 ( 8:28 AM )

Henry Lamer and He Is Back!

Hello everyone! I am back! Lol. Like finally right? I know man. It's been a while. A long while actually. Oh well. And blogger don't seem to let me choose my font size, font colour and font type. It must hate me for not blogging for such a long time. =p Oh wait, with the new interface, i can! =D

Anyway, i am here for a sad reason. Very sad.

"What do you want from me?"

It's a question that i have always wanted to ask you. But yet, i never did. I held it inside me, wishing that the day would never come when i have to ask you this. Incredibly, you asked me first. =(

All i ever wanted, was for you to be happy. To see your smile, to make you laugh, to surprise you, to give you as much as i can, to compromise and never to complain. But all i managed was to make you cry, feel sad, unhappy, angry, frustrated, upset, disappointed, lose hope in me and lose all expectations in me. Therefore, my question is:

What do you want from me, my dearest? =(

What exactly do you want from me? I want you to be happy, so i asked you not to be sad, to cheer, to not cry. But, you don't want that. You feel that i am restricting your freedom.

I want you to feel less upset about things, so i tried to explain things, make things a little better. But you said i am just trying to defend myself, and i am not looking from your perspective. I agree sometimes i will feel that why can't you think like me. But i know you are not me, that's why i never get angry at you. Or i should say rarely.

I have done everything i can to make you smile, to surprise, but all those little things pales in comparison to the one time events in your life. Why? =(

I admitted that i have poor memory, that i am imperfect, so i try my best to make things up in whatever way i can. But, its not good enough. Because the feeling is gone for you.

I compromise, i sacrifice, i apologise, i act silly, act cute. All that, is not enough. Do you know how much my heart hurt now?

Am i trying to say i have done much more for you than you have for me? No, i am not. Because that is not true. And such things cannot be compared. But, i must admit that sometimes i do feel that way. I have made mistakes in our relationship, things that i should never have done in my entire life. But yet, you forgave me, time and time again. And i really really appreciate that. Because you hold such a important place in my life, i cannot imagine it without you.

But it's two different things my dear... =( You can't judge me on every aspect of our relationship on that. Because it will make things very difficult for us. =( Whatever i do, you will never appreciate, because you will keep remembering whatever bad things i have done and all the good things i do will appear much lesser in significance. Is this fair to me?

I love you, from the bottom of my heart. I want things to go smoothly between us, and i believe we can, as long as we set our hearts to it. But we must work together my dear.

I need you to have just a slightly bigger heart, to appreciate me more. That's all i ask for. I have done many things i don't like, they may seem insignificant to you, but they are to me. I have to take huge steps to be with you too, why can't you do the same? I have never force you to do things that you cannot, why can't you do the same?

I want us to last till time ends. that's how much i want to be with you. Let's make that happen.

Please... =(

Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts; We're Empty

{/miscellaneous --

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